From a very young age Indian girls are taught to adjust and prioritize others happiness before theirs.  Somewhere that conditioning that “doosro ki khushi mein hi khushi milti hai” gets ingrained in their minds forever.

Girls are taught to be submissive and subservient so they can appease their parents, in-laws and husband.  They are told that mothers are always “givers and selfless”.  Due to all this conditioning, women somewhere start living for others more than themselves.  They cannot say No or talk about their own desires.

Thinking about oneself doesn’t make the women selfish and self-centered and that’s what they need to realize.  Somewhere women need to take a stand for themselves and make themselves happy.

Some pointers which can make women happy and teach them to stand up for themselves:

  1. Stop sacrificing all the time!  Somewhere over the years the sacrifices make the women bitter and angry.  They start feeling that nobody really acknowledges their sacrifices.  It’s okay to adjust at times but not always.
  2. Stop trying to please others.  Howsoever hard a woman tries she is not able to please everyone as humanly this is impossible.  Women need to understand that they are humans and that it’s not possible for them to please everyone all the time.  In doing so, the woman displeases herself!
  3. Don’t bend too much to adjust.  When a girl gets married and goes to her sasural, her parents’ sermons of giving in and adjusting is deeply ingrained in her head.  In order to adjust and be in the good books of the new family she sometimes forgets her own entity and desires.  So many women out there are unhappy just because of this.  No need to be rude or defiant with the in-laws or husband but make them realize that you are your own person too!
  4. Don’t give up things that make you happy.  Often post marriage and motherhood women give up their hobbies, dreams, “me time” and hence end up being depressed.  Do whatever makes you happy, be it only for 20 minutes, but do it to refresh you.
  5. Learn to say NO.  Again, learning to say NO is a big problem for Indian women.  What if the other party feels hurt?  Well, if you are not in a position to do something say a polite NO.  Don’t slog to do something which you can’t!
  6. Let the kids realize that the mother is a human too!  Let the mother show her emotions of anger, sorrow, happiness, etc. khulke in front of the children.  A mother is not a “devi”, she is as human as the children and can make mistakes too!  Let the kids not have any unrealistic expectations from the mother!

Make others happy, but make yourself happy too, women!


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