There is some noise among women these days about using their husband’s surname post marriage. Some retain their maiden name which again was their father’s name and some use both the surnames.

Why didn’t a thought come up in our minds that probably we should have included our mother’s identity as well in our names first? It is perfectly logical if they are concerned about the documentation hassles after marriage (which is still applicable if they wish to use both surnames). But enlighten me if there are any other thoughts behind it.

I ponder at times that if we wish to retain our identity by retaining our maiden name why are we OK with our kids acquiring their father’s name alone ? Why don’t we make it a point to add our surname to their name as well? Why not let them use both the surnames or just use their mother’s surname? Well there is a serious issue which might crop up if this is practised. Just clarifying if my child Anupriya takes up both the surnames it is going to be a scary situation in future . Say, she happens to get married to someone who uses both his parent’s surnames as well. Imagine a situation where my grandchild “XYZ” would be named “XYZ” Singh Srivastava Sharma Subramanian. And what if the process would continue generations after generations. 

Not inviting a debate but just trying to understand am I missing a point here?

I think there are bigger issues associated post marriage for women. Leaving our parental home and ageing parents alone and not having an option to continue living with them is the most challenging. Issues like accepting new people in your lives irrespective of whether you want or not, adopting to changing food choices, choice of clothing, choice of friends , choice to continue working should be more talked about. Changing your name or not is also a choice and you are free to do it your way. But again like they say “What’s in a name?”


P.S. Since childhood I always fancied the surname Srivastava so not much thought behind me willingly changing it. But even after 13 years of marriage I always think once before signing my name.

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One comment

  • VJ

    Good point!
    There’s no written law that your children have to acquire father’s name as surname. The child’s parents can choose as they please. In some cultures, like Mexico tgey do use both parent’s side, in their name., then the names are too long to pronounce even for the child. My daughter recently name her child with three letters of her mom’s & three letters of mother in laws name. Her husband and both her families were ok with it. In Indian culture from I know, the parents choose the first name and by tradition use the last name. Good thought for the mind!


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