What is ‘Letting go?’

Letting go is a two sided coin, physical separation and emotional separation. They always go together.

If you think it’s hard, it is. If you think it’s possible, it is! Everyone of us have the ability to let go. We Have the innate ability to let go. What prevents us from letting go? The possessiveness!

Say you’re a parent for the first time..Initially you don’t trust anyone to be with your child except yourself! Of course mother’s intuition is supreme. Slowly you let your spouse, your parents and siblings. Then on the first day of daycare Center or school you go through an emotional turmoil and you console yourself and still leave your tiny little being with the care of experts. Some leave them with family, friends and neighbors feelings the same.

Then as the children grow, they go to camps, or stay with uncles and aunts for a day or two. Initially the home feels empty, later on you get used to it. After couple of years, the adult child takes on a job, marries moves on to a different city, state or nation. You too grow along with the child and have learned to let go! You’re now happy to see them as and when they’re available. This is one side of letting go!

Another type of letting go is due to our ego, needs tremendous attitude of magnanimity, a will to forgive, humility in doing that, expressing love from heart, the inner courage to the voice and a sense of doing the right thing from our brain. It’s a holistic approach in relationships.

Why? Because every person is distinct, dissimilar and different even within siblings, between parents & children, friends & neighbors. We think and act differently resulting in conflicts & confrontation.

One lesson I have learned through experiences is ‘expect the difference, accept the difference and make it a smooth relationship’ with every contact and every interaction that you have. The differences are not only in physical appearance but in every aspect of our being. Each human is unique! There are no duplicates, carbon copies!

Life is a field of experience and we all go through a lot. Every experience molds us. We think, act and behave based on those experiences. No one is an exception to this. We get emotional and utter words, often we justify what we said and other times we repent for what’s said. When we justify, we might lose a friend or family member from our circle when we repent, we feel guilty.

These emotions cause stress on the body resulting in physical health conditions, really not worth it. As Human we can do better than that! Memorize this, ‘Anger is one letter short of danger! The acid first destroys the container then the one that’s poured on!’. When we’re angry, we’re the ones who gets affected first with ulcers!

The best idea would be to stop and think before we say anything, ‘how would what I say affect the other person?’. Am I willing to take the same comment from others if directed to me? If not, don’t say it.

If you said something that offended someone, apologize right away, not next day, next month. If the other party is emotional, raise their voice, uses foul language, move away to avoid escalation. Take a walk, do not recall what’s been said. Relax, think of something positive. This will make them reflect on their own words..Is it easy? Of course not! But you’ll feel happy, peaceful.

Forgive & forget!

People carryover baggage from years! The just don’t have bags, they have suitcase full from 30-40-50 years ago about what their brother did, or what mother in law said or how the spouse behaved.Is it worth it to hold grudges for petty things that someone said or did to you?

If you want to climb Mt. Everest you go light! If you want to gain wisdom of life, don’t carry baggage. Everyday is a clean slate. Try not to go to bed with negative feelings with anyone. Wake up cheerfully and you’re blessed with a brand new beautiful day.

Remind yourself that past is history, future is mystery and today is a gift and that’s why it’s called ‘present’!

Vijaya Jayaraman

Vijaya, fondly called VJ is a 71 year evergreen personality from Boston, Massachusetts. She has many feathers to her cap, a motivational speaker, a Toastmaster, an avid biker and a hiker to name a few. She has had most of her innings post 55!! Read more of her thoughts here:





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