THE ROLE OF A FATHER
Interviewer: Who comes to your mind when you face a difficulty or need a solution?
Child : My father
Interviewer: Who comes to your mind when you need permissions to go out? And you want to play football too during rains?
Child : Pappa
So is the connect of a father and his child. Its rightly said by a child ,”If Pappa can’t fix it, nobody can.”
The role of father has seen a sea change in the recent times, from authoritative impression to now; when it has changed to more of friend to the child, a coach, a person whom the child looks up to, to seek guidance. Many epics have been written about mother’s love but you will rarely find anything written about a father and his love and dedication in the upbringing of the child.
Some researchers focus on play behaviour as being central to fathering, just as nurturing behaviour is seen as essential to mothering. Father-child play is important for children because it is physical and highly stimulating, which allows the child to experience the activation and regulation of arousal. It also helps children understand and test boundaries in a safe environment, which helps them in countless ways as they figure out the world.
A father’s involvement in the upbringing of the child is very important. An involved father is one who is sensitive, warm, close, friendly, supportive, intimate, nurturing, affectionate, encouraging, comforting and accepting. Involved fathers can help improve positive outcomes for kids, so it makes sense that they can also help prevent negative behaviours. Some of the most common—and troubling—problems of childhood and adolescence diminish when fathers take an active role in their children’s lives. In children, feeling close to a father and frequently doing things with him can cut risk of antisocial behaviour, hyperactivity, and behaviour problems. It also prevents bullying and may help kids from becoming victims. For preschoolers with behaviour challenges, a father’s involvement can help prevent those problems from showing up during the higher standards.
Not all fathers have the level of involvement they’d like to have. Whether it’s due to life circumstances or other factors, some fathers haven’t yet stepped into their role as important, nurturing influences on their children.
When fathers are absent, boys, on average, are more likely to be more unhappy, sad, depressed, dependent, and hyperactive and girls are more likely to become overly dependent and have internalizing problems such as anxiety and depressed.
Fathers aren’t the only ones who play a role in making the father-child relationship successful. Their partners make a difference too. When wives are supportive of their husbands’ parenting and see them as capable and competent, the husbands are more likely to be involved with the children. They also feel more comfortable and competent, as well as more satisfied.
In order to develop positive self-esteem, a healthy father-child bond is the key.
I happen to meet a teen recently and asked him, “Would you like to dedicate a song to yours and your dad’s relationship?” And his answer was – when my dad is around, I feel, “Soch na kya jo bi hoga dekha jayega”. He is the man who gives me confidence to sustain in this world.
Long live fathers and long live their unsung relationship with their children.
Riddhi Doshi Patel
Performance Skills Trainer, Behavioural Coach,
Child Psychologist & Psychotherapist,
Founder Director – Rhyns Academy Pvt. Ltd.
Founder – Laja – India’s first Forum for Women
Email – firstname.lastname@example.org
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Wonder Women World